


it don't always go the way we planned it

by fraudulentzodiacs



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, brief mentions of jamie/katie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-03
Updated: 2020-02-03
Packaged: 2021-02-26 10:38:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22549375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fraudulentzodiacs/pseuds/fraudulentzodiacs
Summary: It’s the last night that Tyler’s in the Bahamas that it happens. They’ve all gathered for dinner when Jamie and Katie walk in hand-in-hand, beaming and happy and so in love that it makes Tyler’s stomach hurt. They haven’t even sat down when Jessie gasps, pointing to Katie. That’s when Tyler sees it, the unmistakable sparkle on Katie’s left hand.
Relationships: Jamie Benn/Tyler Seguin
Comments: 4
Kudos: 127





	it don't always go the way we planned it

It’s the last night that Tyler’s in the Bahamas that it happens. They’ve all gathered for dinner when Jamie and Katie walk in hand-in-hand, beaming and happy and so in love that it makes Tyler’s stomach hurt. They haven’t even sat down when Jessie gasps, pointing to Katie. That’s when Tyler sees it, the unmistakable sparkle on Katie’s left hand. 

“About time!” Jordie exclaims as Katie leans into Jamie, his face quickly growing red. 

The table explodes with congratulations and good wishes, and Tyler stays frozen in his seat. He hadn’t told Tyler that he was even thinking about proposing, and what did it say about the state of their friendship that Tyler hadn’t known? They were best friends, linemates, the face of the franchise and Tyler _hadn’t known_. 

He watches as Katie flashes the ring, beautiful and classic and so very her. Jessie and Kate and the other women at the table ooh and aah over it and Jamie stands by her, looking increasingly uncomfortable at the attention but also staring at Katie as though she’s the center of his universe. Tyler can’t stand it, having the last bit of his hope dashed. He feels his heart cracking in his chest, and he feels both hot and cold at the same time, and it’s hard to breathe in the way it feels when he takes a particularly hard hit to the boards. He pushes away from the table without a word, not even a glance to Kate, his mind scattered and frantic but sure that he had to leave that he had to be _away_. 

He turns his phone off and doesn’t lift his head from underneath the blankets when Kate returns to their room. She’s silent and the air is tense around them as she changes clothes and climbs in next to him. She’s still and quiet and Tyler can feel the change when she sags down into the bed. 

“Ty?” She tries, and he knows that she knows he’s awake but he can’t answer her. “Ty, I like you, but when we get back to Dallas…I think we’re done.”

Tyler expects it to hurt, but the only image that comes to mind is Jamie, and Jamie and Katie, and the ring on her finger. Kate being the brave one and ending things between them brings only relief. 

The next morning, Kate meets the girls for one last breakfast while Tyler showers and packs, preparing to head straight from the islands to St. Louis for All-Star weekend. Before, he hated that Jamie wasn’t going with him, but now he’s not ashamed to admit that he’s looking forward to some space from his best friend. A knock on his door pulls him from his thoughts, and he’s surprised to find Jamie standing on the other side, hands in his pockets as he stares at him. 

“Hey.” Tyler greets him, and he feels ashamed at the crack in his voice. 

“Hey.” Jamie replies. “Can we talk?”

“Sure, yeah, come on in.” Tyler steps out of the doorway to allow Jamie in, and he watches Jamie scan the room. 

“Kate’s at breakfast with Jessie and a few of the other girls.”

“Yeah, Katie’s there too.” Jamie replies as he starts pacing the room. Tyler finds himself wringing his hands, waiting for Jamie to tell him what he came here for. He just paces though, running his hand over the back of his neck and then scratching his fingers through his beard. The face he makes is one that Tyler’s seen countless times, when he’s struggling to find the right words in the locker room when they’re down and out after the second and he needs to say the exact right thing. 

“What’s up, man?” Tyler finally cracks, trying to sound casual as Jamie freezes. 

“You ran out on dinner last night.”

“Yeah, sorry, I just wasn’t feeling well.” Tyler knows it’s lame, but it’s the best he’s got when Jamie turns his gaze to him, his eyes wide and full of hurt. 

“You ran out as soon as Katie and I walked in.”

“I know, I’m sorry.”

“Quit saying you’re sorry. I know you don’t like Katie, but…”

“I like Katie!” And the truth is, Tyler really does. He likes her, he thinks she’s great, but then there’s _Jamie _and she’s the one who gets to have him and for a moment he _hates _her. Jamie gives him a disbelieving look. 

“Okay, but we just got fucking _engaged _and you just walked out. So what am I supposed to think?”

“It’s not…I…” Tyler tries, feels the panic rising and his breathing quicken. “Jamie, please.”

“Please, what? I just don’t understand. You’ve always been distant with her, at first I thought…I don’t know, but it’s been years and now we’re getting married and it’s…I just wish you could be happy for me.”

“I am, Chubbs, I am happy for you. If Katie’s what makes you happy-”

“She is.” Jamie interrupts, and Tyler sighs. 

“Then that’s enough for me.”

“Then why are you acting like this?” Jamie looks at him and Tyler wants to laugh, cry, grab the other man by the shoulders and shake him. “I just don’t understand why you aren’t happy about this.” And he looks so genuinely confused and hurt that Tyler finally does let a harsh laugh escape, collapsing onto the bed with his head in his hands. 

“You know why.” He finally whispers, so quiet that he’s not sure Jamie hears him. “You have to know why.”

“What?” Jamie finally asks, sitting next to him. “Do you…do you have feelings for Katie?”

“Oh, god.” Tyler groans, wishing it were that simple. “No. Not Katie.”

“But…oh.”

_Yeah_. Tyler thinks. _Oh_.

“But you never said…” Jamie begins, and Tyler scoffs.

“Why would I? I knew you didn’t feel the same. Why put us both through that kind of embarrassment?”

“Ty, I…”

“Please, Jamie. Don’t. Don’t make this any worse.” Tyler jumps up, grabs his bags, and leaves the room without looking back at Jamie once. 

All-Star weekend is a disaster. Tyler’s distracted, and heartbroken, and he has to put on his media face and be the happy-go-lucky Tyler Seguin that everybody knows and loves. He loses the skills competition to Patrick fucking Kane, and then they’re knocked out in the actual game and just like that, his weekend is over. He’s on a plane back to Dallas with absolutely no clue how he’s going to deal with the fallout of his hotel room admission. 

He goes straight home, ignores the calls and texts on his phone except for one from Cassidy mocking him for losing the shooting stars competition. He replies with a series of middle finger emojis before locking his phone and collapsing onto the couch and losing himself in Netflix. 

There’s no texts from Jamie. 

They have practice the next day, and Jamie is distant and quiet, only talking to him when they’re on the ice and only about hockey. Tyler doesn’t try to joke with him, avoids looking at him except when absolutely necessary. He’s terrified of what he’ll see there. Anger or disgust or - worse- pity. He hasn’t seen anything on social media announcing Jamie and Katie’s engagement, but he assumes they’re waiting until perhaps the offseason when there’s less attention on them. It doesn’t make it hurt any less, because it’s still real and it still feels like Tyler’s losing Jamie in every way possible. 

When Jamie scores that amazing goal in OT against Tampa Bay the next night, Tyler’s so lost in the euphoria of the win that he spreads his arms for Jamie without even thinking, waiting for the other man to crash into him in celebration.

It doesn’t happen. 

Instead, he skates past him into Comeau, Perry, and Pavelski. Tyler stays on the periphery, watching as the team celebrates their victory as the crowd screams around them. 

Later, Jamie talks to the media and Tyler uses the extra time to shower and change and leave the arena before anyone has a chance to talk to him. His house is empty, but blessedly quiet, and he pulls a beer from the fridge and chugs half of it in one go. He’d always feared that Jamie would distance himself from him if he ever found out about Tyler’s feelings, but he had never expected that it would hurt quite this much. He feels like he’s lost everything in one go - his best friend, his linemate, the man he loves. He feels truly alone for the first time since he left Boston so many years ago. 

The pounding on his door is not a friendly knock. 

He briefly considers not answering, but the pounding continues with an intensity that tells him whoever it is isn’t going anywhere. He checks the video on his doorbell and feels his stomach clench as Jamie comes into view. He pulls the door open and finds himself face to face with the other man. He’s wearing a loose-fitting black t-shirt and well-worn jeans, his hair still slightly damp from his post-game shower despite the frigid temperature outside. 

“Jamie?”

“How long?” Jamie asks, and for the first time in years, his face is unreadable to Tyler. 

“How long what?”

“How long have you had…feelings for me?”

Tyler stares at him, shaking his head. Did Jamie really come all the way to his house to hash this out _again_?

“Come inside.” Tyler finally replies, opening the door wider. He shuts it firmly, leaning his forehead briefly against the closed door before turning to face Jamie. 

“Why do you want to know, Jamie?”

“I just…please. I need to know.” Jamie looks lost, and hurt, and it’s something that Tyler never wanted to see on his face. He never wants to be the cause of any of Jamie’s pain. 

“I don’t know.” Tyler finally admits, running his hand through his hair as he paces in front of Jamie. “I was attracted to you since we first met. It just…grew, I guess. I couldn’t pinpoint an exact moment.” Tyler hesitates for a moment before deciding that, if he’s going to be fucking himself over forever, he might as well do it right. “I feel like…at this point, I feel like I’ve always loved you.”

Jamie turns away from him at that, casting his eyes to the ceiling, and Tyler knows that this is it. This is the moment that Jamie tries to let him down easy. Tries to be kind and gentle in breaking Tyler’s heart. 

“You should’ve told me.” Jamie finally tells him, rubbing his hands across his face. “You should’ve told me years ago.”

“Why would I do that? It would have changed anything.”

“It would have changed _everything_!” Jamie snaps, and just like that Tyler freezes, the anger in Jamie’s voice something that he’s only seen directed at other people. Never him. “Everything! I wouldn’t have spent years trying to get over you, wouldn’t have forced myself to move on, to try to find someone who made me feel a fraction of what I feel for you!”

“I…what?” Tyler can’t speak, can’t think, because this…this is impossible. “You…had feelings for me?”

“Of course I did!” Jamie’s pacing now, his eyes frantic and looking everywhere but at Tyler. “But I thought…I thought there was no way you felt the same. So, finally, I tried to move on. I met Katie, and I thought ‘hey, maybe this could work. Maybe I’ll finally get over Tyler and have a shot at being happy.’ And I was! I was happy, I was going to _marry _Katie, and then you tell me that this whole time - _this whole time_ \- you felt the same!”

Tyler catches the past tense at _was going to marry_ and freezes. He feels a small flicker of hope flare in his chest. If there was a chance, no matter how small…

“Jamie…are you engaged to Katie?” Tyler asks, and Jamie goes silent, stops pacing, the only sound in the house their heavy breathing. 

“Not anymore.” Jamie finally admits, his shoulders sagging as the fight leaves him. 

Tyler kisses him. 

He feels Jamie freeze against him, but it only takes a moment for Jamie to grip Tyler’s waist, pulling him closer and changing the angle of their kiss. Tyler feels like he’s going to explode out of his skin, the only things keeping him in one piece are the places where Jamie’s touching him. It’s chaste, as far as kisses go, but it makes Tyler feel more in one moment than all the lust-fueled kisses he’s ever had in his life. It’s everything that Tyler’s ever wanted, and he honest-to-god whimpers when Jamie pulls away. He rests his forehead against Jamie’s, breathing in the shared air between them. 

“I’m sorry.” Tyler finally whispers, and Jamie pulls away to give him a questioning look. “I know you care about Katie. She didn’t deserve to get hurt because of this.”

“She gets it. I told her once, about you. I mean, she’s mad as hell, but…she gets it.”

“I love you.” Tyler slides his hands up to cup Jamie’s face. Jamie’s smile is kind, gentle, and Tyler knows in his gut that this is _it _for him. 

“I love you, too.” Jamie replies, and Tyler takes that as an invitation to kiss him again, this time with more fervor. Jamie groans when Tyler rubs against him, and it only makes Tyler more curious about the sounds he can pull out of Jamie. 

“Not that this isn’t super romantic and shit.” Tyler pulls away from Jamie, dropping kisses along his jaw and neck. “But will you please take me upstairs and fuck me?”

Jamie laughs, turns Tyler around, and shoves him toward the stairs. 

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on tumblr. Inspired by my hockey group chat and our penchant for dramatics because Jamie and Tyler didn't hug once. Come cry with my about the Stars, Leafs, and Travis Konecny @bennsseguin on tumblr.


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